im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
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