If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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