God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
