Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
