There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
