hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
