his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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