He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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