Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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