btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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