Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
