I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
