Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
