You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
They have beer where we have blood.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
