So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
