i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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