the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
