I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
