Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I haven't been this sober since birth.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
