Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
