Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
