If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it hurts more in the daytime
she smelled like a LAN party
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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