I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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