There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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