At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
