forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
