in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
