i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
