batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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