this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
