You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
