In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
