I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
how can u be prego again
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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