We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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