It's Friday. Sex?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
