DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
