That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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