On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
