i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
