I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
