break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
