Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Damn victory sex feels great
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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