all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
