He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
