i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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