none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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