when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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