there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
