I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
