you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
