he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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