Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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